i don't understand people. i am saying this from the perspective of someone who has worked in the restaurant business for a long time, and who comes into the weirdest, most awkward contact with tons of people. last night i had two particular instances which just left me shaking my head, and incidentally enough, they both happened within an hour of each other.
the first: i was hoping to use the restroom quickly in the middle of my shift. i went to the restroom hall, and knocked on the open door of a room, just to be safe. when nobody answered, i figured it was safe to go in. ( i mean, the door WAS open an all.) nope. of course not. naturally there was a guy pulling up his pants, in front of an unflushed toilet, ON THE PHONE!! who talks on the phone while they are using a public bathroom?! i mean, trying to pull up their pants! and then this bozo is sitting in my section. the rest of my interaction with him was decidedly bizarre, but i am pretty sure that he had no idea that i had just seen him indisposed. WHAT THE HELL?
and then: i have a table of four people (2 couples) who have brought a magnum of wine for their table. the cork just disintegrates as i open it, which is embarrassing enough. but they were nice enough, if a little pretentious. people sometimes have extreme difficulty controlling the bull that comes out of their mouths when they are in a dining situation. some people think it's funny to make jokes about skipping out on the bill, or leaving a bad tip, or taking shots at the server's intelligence . this table had one man in particular who seemed to be enjoying his food, but still felt like he had to tell me they might be sending something back to the kitchen. those kind of jokes are NOT funny to servers about 99.99999% of the time. after dessert, they shared two glasses of port, which i had described as a tawny (which is what it says on the menu, and hell, i don't know about ports. whenever i think of the word port, i think of the Swedish chef from the Muppets saying "port port port!" with his rad accent.) sooo, they get all worked up because they don't think it's a tawny port, and they try to engage me in some kind of "is it? isn't it?" debate (because they are IN THE BIZ...as one guy put it.) finally, they ask to see the actual bottle, to which i obliged them. usually, i'm able to grin an bear that kind of hoop-jumping, but i did get a little sassy with them. i guess it paid off because i was tipped $60 on a bill of $180. people are rarely that generous, and it seems that when you bend over backwards for them they tip you less than you deserve. but not this time, i guess.
port port port!!
